I went to a funeral today. A co-workers mother had passed away from Cancer and I went to pay my respects. The coworker happens to work for me and I felt it was only right that I show up since I didn't make it to any of the showing times. I knew I couldn't say or do anything to make her hurt any less after losing her mother but at least me being there shows that I care. I have been there and back a couple times in the last year so I knew that the best thing I could do was just be there in person. It was evident that the deceased was well liked by many and it made me wonder if I was "Well Liked" or more importantly, if I will be "Well Liked" by many after I am gone.
I know I was blown away when I lost my youngest daughter to Lupus and the amount of Love my family and I received from friends and Family was mind blowing. I was never used to accepting gifts from friends or family so it was a bit hard to swallow at the time. But their generosity blew me away. And I vowed to be a better person after that whole ordeal.
I have a new outlook on Life since my daughter died. Its a renewed vision of whats important and whats not. Obviously my family means the world to me, always has and always will. When I say a new vision, I mean a new way I look into how I treat others. Love is what its all about, Not Getting the Love...Giving it.
I am not sure why sometimes it feels like that is such a difficult task for me to accomplish. But it does. I feel like I am a mean sonofabitch sometimes. But in my heart I am not that mean. The things I say or do to people are not always the reflection of whats in my heart. And for the life of me , I do not know why I cant just say or do whats in my heart. Its just one of those things you have to constantly work on I suppose. It just sucks that I have to work on being nice.....I mean Really? I hope I am wrong in the the way I view myself vs. the way others do. But the way I feel trumps what they think anyway so I suppose it really don't matter. I guess its just that when I die, I don't want people to think that I was a mean ole bastard and was mean to people all the time. And more importantly, I don't want my family to think that either. Isn't that what its all about.? Being nice to people, showing them Love and compassion and then you die. Then at your funeral....people can say that I was "Loved by Many". Well I suppose there is a little more to LIFE than all that but being the simple man that I am...that's the way I simplify it all. :)
I know I was blown away when I lost my youngest daughter to Lupus and the amount of Love my family and I received from friends and Family was mind blowing. I was never used to accepting gifts from friends or family so it was a bit hard to swallow at the time. But their generosity blew me away. And I vowed to be a better person after that whole ordeal.
I have a new outlook on Life since my daughter died. Its a renewed vision of whats important and whats not. Obviously my family means the world to me, always has and always will. When I say a new vision, I mean a new way I look into how I treat others. Love is what its all about, Not Getting the Love...Giving it.
I am not sure why sometimes it feels like that is such a difficult task for me to accomplish. But it does. I feel like I am a mean sonofabitch sometimes. But in my heart I am not that mean. The things I say or do to people are not always the reflection of whats in my heart. And for the life of me , I do not know why I cant just say or do whats in my heart. Its just one of those things you have to constantly work on I suppose. It just sucks that I have to work on being nice.....I mean Really? I hope I am wrong in the the way I view myself vs. the way others do. But the way I feel trumps what they think anyway so I suppose it really don't matter. I guess its just that when I die, I don't want people to think that I was a mean ole bastard and was mean to people all the time. And more importantly, I don't want my family to think that either. Isn't that what its all about.? Being nice to people, showing them Love and compassion and then you die. Then at your funeral....people can say that I was "Loved by Many". Well I suppose there is a little more to LIFE than all that but being the simple man that I am...that's the way I simplify it all. :)
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