Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Procrastinating Thoughts

I have to apologize for not posting very often. (Here comes the excuses) Actually I am going to use the only excuse that I have.....I'm Lazy.....There I said you know. I could have wrote something but in my head I have justified not writing with ideas like..".I have just been too busy to write" And in all actuality I just blew it off and watched America has Talent on the Boob Tube. Or I will do what I do best...Procrastinate...I have this down to a science now. I have been doing it for many years now and I am serious when I say that I could make a college course from the knowledge I have on the subject. Its either that or sarcasm...I think I could teach a class or to on that subject too.
Here's a couple things that have been happening in my life that is worth mentioning. First is the Taylor has FINALLY graduated from Western Michigan University...and I could not be any happier or prouder.I always told her that I did not care how long she took to do it ...I just never thought she would test me on it. :)  She has a wonderful job in her Telecommunications Field,  that she likes and just got a nice promotion in the last I am very Proud of her for sticking to it and getting it done and I am Happy because she can now start paying some of her own bills. :)
The other really exciting thing happening is that Kim and I have started a outdoor project. We will redo our over grown back yard landscape project from 10 years ago (its only overgrown because I have been so busy.....Not!! ) but we will be putting a garden next year....this year we will just get it all ready and will be putting in raised boxes so it  wont be so hard on our backs bending over to pick all the delicious vegetables that we will be growing. That  is only one of the projects that I have to get done this year, others include making a dock with my neighbor and another is putting down that yucky black stuff on the driveway (can you tell my dislike for this job?) Seems like every time I do it I end up ruining my shoes , pants and shirt and I really think I hate it more than I hate painting.
I know I am rambling but I was watching Americas Got Talent and they had this sword swallowing female on there and she said something very funny...she said she thinks that her talent his hereditary...Now all I could think was...Hmmm I wonder what your Mother did for a living? Prostitute? I mean really...the ability to swallow a sword is definitely not hereditary....I am pretty sure you have to learn how to do that...and in spite of the fact that this girl looked like a man with hooters....I am sure she has the ability to make her man (if she has one) very happy.

Ok I'm back now from that tangent...sorry where was I? Oh yeah I was diverting myself from making something to eat...I'm starving. I really want to lose weight before the Grim Crim race in August. My hope is that it will be easier if I am lighter. Its kind of like thinking that you can run faster with a new pair of tennis shoes. (Which I still think every time I buy a new pair) But I think I am going to need every advantage I can get just to finish the dang event. I just realized that I am procrastinating going to bed. So I think I will call it a night. Night

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Like Father.... Like Son

You look just like your Father....I hear it all the time. And its true....I do. I have his hair, smile, and natural good looks (Yes...I just said that) We even have the same sense of humor. However....There is this one thing  that I hope I didn't inherit from him. The ability to say"I'm proud of you" to my kids.And this is why I wrote this....please keep in mind that I Love my Dad very much....he dedicated his life to raising six kids after my mother left when I was twelve. So I don't want this to sound that I don't Love and appreciate who he is and what he has done for me. Nuff said!!!!

My Dad

 I had heard that my Dad didn't really care for my Blog. My immediate reaction was that I don't write it my blog because I want his approval. However, my next reaction was....what didn't he like about it? Huh?...I didn't want his approval but I want to know his thoughts on it? Hmmm..maybe I did want it. But it made me think if I ever really had my Dads approval on anything I have done in my life. I cant really think of I time when I ever had heard him say how Proud he was of me. Isn't that our goal in make our parents proud? It kinda is...I think...and to grow up your whole life trying to prove something to people that you seek it from...can put you on the dysfunctional side of living.
(I have mastered that part of life.)
 But it starts with the things that you will look at them for their approval. Then it slowly moves into to actions....and the next thing you know you are living your whole life hoping you get someones approval....only to find out that its not there.
I don't want to make my dad out to be some sort of non caring father who never gave a shit about his kids and never supported them....that's not what I am saying at all. My father was a very supportive man and would always give a word of advice or encouragement to any of us kids when he thought we needed it. He went to my wrestling matches and football games...I might have even seen him at a track meet once or twice. I wonder if I had went pro in football or made it big with singing if I would have heard those six words from him then?  My point to all this is....Why do I search out his approval all the time? He is not the kind of guy who would bluntly come out and say it anyway...he would say something like...that was really nice, or Good Job son ....something else but never..."I am so proud of you son".
I remember when I would sing at events like weddings or a baptism for a niece or nephew....My dad would say something about the song like..."Yeah...I could really understand every word you sang" dad...Thanks I was hoping for a "That was Great Son"...or "I am so proud of were Fantastic". instead I really just felt like Dad...did you get a new hearing aid? (No he don't wear one...but at the time.,..I wished he did.)

My biggest Fear is that I might treat my own daughter the same way.I just hope that my daughter never feels like that. I hope that she always knows that I am proud of her....she doesn't have to become anything , or do anything spectacular....except be herself. Always wanting approval is such a bad thing. You can miss out on some important things in your satisfaction and Pride You should live your life with a drive to be your best...that's right...YOUR best. And if you do shouldn't need any ones approval except your own. Maybe that's it...I don't need my Dads approval as much as I just wanted it. I know he Loves me and that is enough for me.