Thursday, April 25, 2013

And Im...Feelin Good

So ....I went to get a massage today.
I have had this pain in my neck for about a month now (aside from Kim I that is...shes more of a pain in my lower back region or just below it anyway )  anyway... I decided to try and get rid of it by massage therapy. The stiffness or pain in the neck area makes you  feel like Frankenstein or something because you cant turn to look at anything without turning your whole body. Ive had people ask me ..."Is there something wrong with your neck?" I usually say "No stupid....I am just practicing for the  Zombie Apocalypse.
Why do people always ask the obvious questions?

Getting a massage came with some reservation also...the last time I went to this place, the woman therapist would not shut up and I ended up not enjoying it at all. This time I specified..."No Talking"...I kind of hated asking for that because it sounds like I'm asking for the paid help to just serve and don't talk... well....I guess I am asking for that  ha ha ...but really I just didn't want to hear about the life and times of Suzy the massage therapist when I am just paying her to hurt me a little and pleasure me alot....whoa....let me rephrase that...relax me alot...yeah that sounds better. This was a reputable place I assure you. :)

At first I felt awkward being in a room alone with another woman especially when she told me to undress and lay on the bed and that she would be back in after a couple of minutes.That's when things really felt strange for me. Ok maybe I am dramatizing it a bit get my drift....another woman is going to be touching  95 percent of my body...I mean of my body that my wife wont touch even if I paid her to. Trust me I have tried to get her to rub my feet and her reply is always the same....ewww...don't be gross. :)  Maybe if I knew this person better it wouldn't be so weird...I dont know...but it just was.
After she left , I started having a panic attack because....I wasn't sure if I should get fully undressed or not...I mean do I get like buck naked....or do I leave my socks on?  I couldn't remember what I did last time. I was thinking....If I did get buck wild naked on her...would she take that as something other than me just wanting to be relaxed in my most natural state? And if I left my skiveys and socks on, would she think I am a rookie or maybe even some kind of geek getting his pleasure just by having another woman touch him?
 I was seriously freaking out. So I did what I thought was the right thing to do.
Buck wild it was!!
I never liked being called a geek :) Besides...I'm covered with a sheet anyway right? She didn't scream when she found out that I was naked so I can only assume it was alright....Now had she seen me naked it might have scared her into a new profession Im sure. :)

Anyway...The massage was both a mix of pleasure and pain. This lady was a brute with a soft touch...I could feel her strength in her arms and I only had to tell her to back off a couple of times....and once she realised that I was a mere baby in a grown mans body, it went pretty smooth after that. But after all was said and done....I felt like a Million bucks...I could turn my head to both directions with no problem. And to be honest...I was a happier man. I could sense a hop in my step that wasn't there before. A feeling of conquering the world over came me so I went to the casino (ok gaming center) where I won 30 bucks before I left....I'm telling you it was almost perfect day....and I say almost because I had to make my next massage appointment for next week instead of tomorrow (bummer)....they were all booked up for tomorrow.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Touched by an Angel

       Dreams are so very hard to describe sometimes, partly because sometimes they don't make no sense , and partly because we cannot understand all the details that would put the story all together for us. I had a dream the other night about Timberly and I am writing this so that I don't forget about it. Its the first time I ever woke up crying from a dream. So don't try and make any sense of it because its useless...well some of it is anyway.

       Kim and I were in this safe house or something. We were doing chores around the house and I remember not being happy at that time but we had the attitude that we would just do whatever we had to do. (Not sure why we were there at this point)
It was a while later that I was standing next to the stairwell that went down to the basement (I assume it was the basement)  when I saw Kim and someone else (not sure who) helping Timberly up the stairs. I was startled when I saw her because I was not expecting to see her. As I said...I wasn't sure why we were there but I do know that it wasn't because Timberly was coming to see us. I was so taken back when I saw her that I didn't really notice how she looked  completely, but I did know that she looked very tired and a little white.
     I immediately grabbed her and hugged her and said  "OMG I cant believe your here"  I layed her down on the floor next to the stairwell so she could rest. I saw the tears in her eyes and she wasn't a bit worried about her condition. I knew the tears in her eyes were tears of Joy and I'm sure she saw my tears as well. With tears in her eyes she reached her hand up to my cheek and said " I'm touching you"

I  awoke.

        I was so stunned by what she said let alone the fact that I just had a dream about Timber.     (That don't happen enough for me). This is only the second time it has happened.
I immediately started questioning what she meant by" I'm touching You"
Did she just mean that she couldn't believe she was touching me....or did she mean she was touching me and that's why so many great things have happened to me since she left? I started thinking about how she said it and the tone she used when she said it to understand what exactly she meant by that. I honestly believe that it is the later. I believe that she just wanted me to know that she is watching me and has my back.  The look in her eyes is really why I think that and it was the reason I woke up suddenly. She had the look of Love in her eyes and as a father it is hard enough to see your daughter with any kind of tears in their eyes.....but for her to have Love in her eyes and say something like that....I was blown away !! 

I try not to read to much into dreams because I know they come from some place in our brains that I cant understand. But I tell you...this one....I want to always remember and cherish. It gives me both comfort and joy. Comfort in knowing that she is watching over me and Joy because ...I felt her touch!
You see...its that touch that we miss the most .....The hugs....the kisses...the little things that we sometimes take for granted.