Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Big Pimpin (Reincarnation style)


 


I figured it out....I know...it took me awhile but I did it.
I finally figured out exactly what I would be if reincarnation exsisted. There are just so many things to choose, but I really wanted something that where I knew I would be happy. I have decided to come back as one of my wifes dogs. I know what your probably thinking....your probably thinking that Im just trying to stay with her so I can hump her leg a few more years. Ummm no. I was actually thinking of something that lived a pampered life...you know....big pimpin style. But before you judge my decision, let me first tell you what comes along with this pampered lifestyle and then tell me if you wouldnt want to come back as one of her pets too.



1) Fed two meals a day...not just ordinary dog food. I get the healthy stuff...the best that money can buy...you know the stuff with the crap in it that is supposed to make me live a long time.
2) Treats for anything I do....like come back in the house after she lets me out...or even if I dont...I still get a treat when I do decide to come back from the neighbors house.

3) I can sleep on the most comfortable bed with everyone. I dont even
get push around in the bed...in fact...they move for me. Now that I think about it....I can sleep anywhere I want to actually, and I might even get a treat for doing it.


4) I get regular check ups form the Doc and if my hair grows to long....I will get to go see the groomer every three months so they can make me look like a Fox.
5) Regular excersize....I have to work off some of them treats that I get
for doing nothing but being cute.
But I also like to think of the walks we take as a chance to scope out where I will run off to next.

6) I get to snuggle with Kim during movie night...with a blanket....while being fed popcorn every 10 seconds.

7) My owners will never be gone longer than 10 hours a day ....ever. Yes...they miss us that much when they are gone...they live for us...we complete them.

8) I can go outside anytime I want to....all I have to do is just put a few more scratches in the door. And did I mention that I get a treat when I come back inside? Two if I look really cute.

9) I get more food every time the humans eat...they are always throwing me pieces of food....all I have to do is just sit there and look adorable.


10) But heres the kicker....we get our own poop room. I dont have to ever go outside and take a poop...I can  just go in the P room and have at it. Them poor dogs that have to wait until their owners get up...I feel so sad for them. Not me though...I can go to the P room any time day or night. That my friends... is doing it Big Pooping Pimpin style.
So there ya have it....Dont even think about coming back as the same thing as me...but if you want to come back as one of her cats...you get the same benefits except with no treats. Sorry Charlie !!

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