Tuesday, August 16, 2011

I will Take "Quality Time" for 200 Alex


There is an old cliche that I hear all the time, and it really bothers me when it is used loosely. Its the one that everyone says when it comes to their children...you may hear it in a sentence something like this:" I am going to spend some quality time with my children." Its the whole "Quality Time" thing that has me questioning.What does "Quality Time" mean to people? Isn't all time spent with your children "Quality Time"?  Well...To me it is...but I have heard stories of people saying that they watched a movie with their kids last night and they followed it by saying it was quality time spent with the kids. Ummmm NO !!!

Maybe Mothers may think something different than the Fathers when it comes to describing what QT means to them. But since I am not a Mother (but have been called a Mutha) I will attempt to describe what it means to me. I think that there are three elements....

First...QT time with the kids, spouse, or any other person you Love, all starts with good intentions, and should never be done because you think you HAVE to.If you think you HAVE to....you actually have a whole lot of other things you need to fix first.  Real QT time starts with Love and ends with even more Love. So in other words...your heart has to be ALL IN.

Second...You must have interaction from both parties...you cant have QT with only one person talking. Everyone must have a chance to speak. (I have been telling my wife this for years....She still doesn't get it...lol) When you find yourself just listening...its not called "Quality Time" ...its called counseling, and you should be getting paid $75 an hour having to listen to it. :)

Third...You must be doing something fun. By Fun,...I mean something that you all have an interest in doing. I have always wanted to take my kids hunting with me...but they have no interest in watching me kill a deer. (or Bambi as they like to call them) Nor do they have the patience it takes to do so. So Hunting would not be a viable solution to spend QT with them. But sitting around the campfire having a couple of brew-has and talking about life would be great fun for them. (And me too..especially the brew-has) And it never fails...we always seem to hit a subject that is both discussion worthy. Its life in general we are talking about so there is always something interesting to talk about and I always seem to learn something about my kids. How they think, how they express themselves, what type of vocabulary they use, and most of all...how they Laugh. When I think of my children's laughter... its puts a immediate smile on my face.


I just hate it when people think that QT is defined as watching TV or working in the yard with their kids. You are not putting any investment in it when you do that. No interaction, No Fun!!!
You must invest your undivided attention to them and hear what they have to say and imagine. When I spend QT time with my nieces and nephews...I like to tell stories with them, we each take turns telling parts of a made up story. You can change where the story is going when its your turn...but until that time you can sit and listen to their imagination run wild. Its quite fun and we always have tons of laughs. On my part...I am investing my time and energy in putting a memory in their minds that they will remember the rest of their lives. And any time you can do that with your kids, spouse , grand kids,brothers and sisters....Its REAL "Quality Time"

1 comment:

taylor said...

Great topic.

love the 'counseling' part. HAHA