The Family Shrub

       I was talking to my daughter yesterday on my cell phone. She was ranting about numerous things, but I got the biggest chuckle from her when she started talking about child birth. I am not sure why she was talking about this subject but like I said...she was ranting and I was being a good father and listening. (I must admit...not all that well until she hit this subject...then I was all ears.)
Let me first say from my personal opinion...I agree with her on all this...how she feels about giving birth...the pain, body disfigurement, breastfeeding. the pain...did I mention the pain?  I have said this before... but to me....what women must endure to bare a child...just doesn't seem right...Why couldn't God just use his miraculous power and have a baby appear in the cradle one morning, instead of having women go through something that just freaks me out :) Or better yet...with today's technology....why couldn't we just download one from the Internet?  I know that a lot of women feel that its just a natural thing that happens and the pain is something you must go through to have a baby. A small price to pay for such a outcome.
 Well...Taylor is not that kind of girl. She was saying to me: (and all I could do was chuckle)

"Why would I want something growing inside of me...I would feel like a freak show delinquent."
"Why would I want to put my body through all that disfigurement?"
"Why would I want to have my sagging boobs when they are perfectly fine right now?"
" Why would I just sign up for that Pain?"
 I told her she could always have a C-section! "
Are you Crazy" she said..."And have a big fat scar across my belly?..."Oh Hells no" she said"


 It seems she has taken after her father after all...a big wussy when it comes to pain :)
I really didn't have good answers for her on the spot.(Not that I want her to get pregnant...cause I don't...not yet anyways.....only when shes ready...if ever....just sayin)
But I tried convincing her that the pain would be forgotten....I even asked Kim for some support ...I said Kim..."Do you remember the pain of childbirth?
And without hesitation she says....Yep.....but it goes away real quick. "See Dad" Taylor said.
 OK thanks Kim...(Not quite the answer we were looking for)....so OK Taylor. There it is...there will be pain involved during child birth. There is no getting around it.
Then Taylor started ranting about the gazillion dollars a child cost to own. Again...I had no answer for her. My last resort was to tell her that our family tree will look more like a Family Shrub if she didn't have any children.. But she didn't buy into the "throw the guilt" thing either.
So what do you say to someone who is afraid of childbirth? Having thought long and hard on it...Here's what I wish I had said.

The urge to have children that women have is all biological. It's the same as wanting to eat, sleep, and live. I think that if you are wanting a logical answer to your question of "Why" then you're really asking for the meaning of life. And sorry...I don't have it. But what I can tell you is why I wanted kids.

Timberly

I wanted to see myself reflected in my children
I wanted to know what its like to be a kid again.
I want them to know whats its like growing up with a family....my family!!
I wanted the smile and smell of a baby to awaken to. (The good smell of course) (you know the smell)
I wanted the joy and satisfaction of watching them grow up to be adults.
I wanted to think about the "Endless Possibilities" that a child brings.
I wanted to hear "Daddy's Home" when I walked through the door.
And because dirty feet and dirty faces on children make me smile.

Taylor

No...its not all good...there is more pain, and heartache you will also have to endure. And lets not forget about the tiredness, sleep deprived days and nights you have to survive. Let alone the financial and emotional needs and the patiences that children require.
I am pretty sure all women (and even men) have this same fear at some point when they are deciding to have children or not.
The fact that you are asking all the "why" questions...tells me you are preparing for the possibility of it happening one day anyway. And when you find the right man and come to terms with the options that childbirth brings...I am positive you will make the RIGHT decision based on the answers YOU come up with as to WHY? Until then....I will be guarding the Family tree or Shrub...both are precious to me, . :)