You Have My Support

You may not know that Kim and I host a Lupus support group here in Lapeer Michigan.
A friend of ours started the group the year after Timbers passing. She works in the ER at the hospital and had saw Timberly multiple times when we took her in. But needless to say her schedule is very hectic and she also now has a new grand baby to take up all her extra time. So she basically has left the group up to Kim and I to run.

We have been doing it on our own for over a year now and at first we were a little scared that we would not be able to offer much to the group. We meet on the second Tuesday of every month and I really wish it was more often. Its not that I enjoy spending my Tuesday nights away from my TV...(you know I hate that part of it) but I really enjoy the friendship we have gained with the people that come.
There is currently 3 people with lupus that come and one the group members husband comes to also support her. So its a very small group, but that is really another reason why I love it so much. The meetings are so heartfelt and personal...I love that fact. There is a gentleman by the name of Aaron who is a member of the group and the story of his battle with multiple...and I mean multiple struggles is just amazing. I mean...I seriously don't think I could cope with what he has went through...and still does go through. This guy is a true warrior and has to live with the pain and suffering that Lupus can bring. I just find people like that amazing, and an inspiration.

Karen and her husband Mike also come and she was recently diagnosed so she is learning a lot from the group. But this woman had to quit her bus driving job because she was in so much pain to drive for any period of time. She has always been a active person and is learning very quickly that she has to listen to her body and not her mind when it comes to doing activities. She too struggles with joint pain and has now started to have problems with her kidneys (I hate that sign) because lupus many times moves to the organs and that's when the life threatening problems arise. She has truly been a blessing to the group to share her battle stories as she begins her life with lupus. And the fact that her husband comes to meetings with her every month, shows that she has a wonderful man by her side.
That is so important to someone with this or any disease. She is truly blessed and so are we to have them in the group.

Morgan who is a dear friend of ours has been with the group for a couple of years now, has had Lupus since she was 13 yrs. old. This girl has pretty much been through the rickets with this disease and offers such great advice because she has lived with it for so long. (she is 24 now)  She has such a good sense of humor. She is just so lovable that its just hard not to instantly like her. She is currently taking the newest drug on the market called Benlista and has done really well with it. She goes once a month and gets her infusion. She is also flying to Chicago to speak in front of a large group of doctors who want to learn more about this drug. She is truly a advocate of lupus. And this girl of only 24 years of age has the maturity level of a 50 year old. (I choose fifty so to not incriminate myself)

We were driving to a meeting one month and my wife said "I don't know why were are going...I doubt anyone will show up". I know she didn't really mean what she had said but the fact that she did say it made me tell her....
"Honey...It doesn't matter how many people show up...if one person shows up and needs questions answered, or help of any kind, that's why we need to be there."

That night...was the first time Aaron walked in. She has been a believer ever since.
I love this group !!

I have a Perception

 

Its all about perception. People see you and the gather a perception about how you look, what your doing at the time, and in an instant they make judgement. I truly wish life wasn't like that...but that sad truth is...its true. I have been on both sides of this perception at my work.
I have made judgement on people and have been totally wrong but I based it on a quick glance at a certain moment in time. And I have also heard a few peoples perception of me. So over the years I have learned to get closer before making any type of judgement.

We have new owners at my work and for the first year I thought I was in like Flynn with them. But recently I  had a review. You know how those go right? You sit down with your boss and they tell you how great you are and then you don't get the raise you expected. Well...this one didn't quite go as planned. Our review system rates you on a scale of 0-20 with 20 being the best. There are like seven different categories. In the past my average score was like 16- 17. This review...my average score was 8....yeah....8. I am not perfect but I do know for a fact that I am not an 8.

My boss and both owners were sitting there as my boss read me what he wrote for each category of the review. The owners would then speak even lower of me just to chime in and tell me that I SUCK.
I didn't do anything right. I felt like crying but then I remembered...there is no crying in manufacturing.
After this hell was over I had a chance to speak to my boss about all this.
This is what I said to him:
So...answer me this...am I really this bad? Because if I am...you should have fired me a long time ago.
His reply: No...you are nowhere near that bad...I had you scored here (pointing to the above average category) but the owners wouldn't let me score you that high. We sent your review back and forth like four times, each time they wanted me to change things. My boss and I

It was then that I realised that the owners have a wrong perception of me and what I do.
I also realised that I have to change that perception. They suggested I start at 6 am vs. the 7 am starting time I had been on. And to make a long story short....that is the only thing that I changed in my routine and now all of a sudden I'm the best thing since sliced bread. (maybe not that good but you get the idea) I have heard compliments and the only thing I changed was my starting time. Weird.

But the perception to them is that I am changing to their style of management (which I am still trying to figure out) I call it... "seagull management"...the come in and shit all over the place then they leave. But whatever style it is....its all about perception.
Who knows what the future may bring....I could be fired tomorrow for all I know.
But this experience has taught me a valuable lesson.

Perception is everything.Even though it shouldnt be. Its there and you have to deal with it sometimes.

Oh and just to make the perception clear ...the cat is actually on the stairs but the picture is taken from the upstairs looking down. Pictures arent always worth a thousand words....sometimes they are just a lie. :)

The True Meaning of Bliss

         I have one more year....one more year.... that's it. No the doc didn't tell me that...I did.
Kim and I celebrated our 29th wedding anniversary yesterday. 29 whole years of nothing but blissful marriage. Riiiiight !!  Okay maybe blissful is a bit overkill on describing the whole 29 years. But happy would definitely be an appropriate word. I do remember some bad times but to be honest... 99.9 percent of the time it has been good...very good....exceptionally good...borderline blissful :)
The .1 percent that was bad was her fault (I'm kidding of course....kind of) But those bad times did made us stronger and each and every time we got through them. That tells me that we both gave forgiveness to each other because we knew we were right for one another. Forgiveness is never easy....but our faith in God and commitment to each other did make it easier.
I know with out a shadow of a doubt, I would be a different man had she not taken the money I gave her for shoes and put a down payment on a wedding dress. (yes...that happened) Thank god she did...I was never one for commitment. But marriage has taught me so many things.

Marriage is fun...I just couldn't imaging doing fun things without her.

Marriage is costly...If you knew actually how many purses my wife has...you would know what I was talking about...actually...I don't even know the number of purses she has. One for every shade of color that crayola has...and even ones that they are planning to come out with in the future.

Marriage keeps you humble...lets face it...Kim has a way of keeping me in check, Making sure my arrogant attitude doesn't get out of balance with whats right. Every time my dreaminess gets in the way of doing the right thing, Kim has a way of putting in perspective for me...and although its never easy to hear, I know she always right. (well...not always...but I do listen anyways) :)

Marriage is always evolving...I look back on our marriage and can see the transformations we have went through. And although I know we are not done evolving...I do know that I look forward to the future...because it will only get better.

Marriage is a Journey....I remember our minister told us that when we got married. He wasn't lying and truth be told...its the best journey I have ever been on. (Although the trip to Canada bear hunting in 1999 was pretty awesome) (Kidding again...kind of) But seriously...we have been through the phases of life and death together and I could not imagine going through this journey with anyone else.

She is my rock...I depend on her, cherish her, trust her, love her with all my heart. She is truly my angel and most of all...me beautiful wife. My Kimmy.
(Hows that for some sucking up) (kidding ...kind of)

Oh and about the one year left statement...I have one more year to save enough money to do something really special on our 30th anniversary. I wouldn't say she expects me to do anything special....but she did say" Ian...you better be planning something special for our 30th anniversary. "
See...told you she has a way of putting things in perspective for me. (I am kidding..she really didn't say that.) (not in so many words) (She just gave me "the look")

Love you Honey

Knowing Your Limits

Hello world...I'm baaaaack !!!!

I took a well needed hiatus from blogging because it was summer and now that all my millions of fans have been beckoning me to write more...I thought I better respond. Oh..did I say millions? I meant to say a few people...you say tomato...I say red yukky thing from the garden.

Speaking of gardens...mine turned out ok...not fantastic...but just ok. My dads garden and probably everybody elses too...has corn that is way over their head, but mine is even up to my neck yet. So either I bought the seeds for the little corn that you get in Chinese food or my soil just doesn't have the right amount of nutrients that it needs to flourish. I am going with the Chinese corn theory because I refuse to do the soil enrichment plan when I don't eat that much corn anyway.( I know my limits) The rest of the garden has produced at least some goodies like zucchini, cucumbers,and those red yukky things and even a few green peppers.

Another reason for my lack of blogging is: ever since I got my phone...I haven't gotten on my computer at all. It is so much easier to write on a computer than on a 4x2 inch phone. And the fact that I put "words with friends" in front of my blogging priorities might have played a part too. My wife and I started playing "Words with friends" and I haven't beat her yet. (emphasis on YET) She always beat me when it came to scrabble so I shouldn't be too surprised. I am a competitive person so the first time I lost to her, my first instinct was to say..."Oh yeah...well lets arm wrestle" but then I remembered that the last time I did that with her it wasn't that easy to beat her at that either. :) So being the good sport that I am ....I graciously asked her if she wanted to see who could stay quite the longest. (I was a shoe in for this one for sure) She denied my request and that was when I realised that she knew her limits too :) It feels good to be back.

Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them
Albert Einstein

Peace my Friends